This morning we were up so we decided to wake the kids, and take them to brunch. Surprisingly all 4 kids wanted to go.
As we were loading into the car kid #4 decided that she did not like where people were sitting and told kid #3 to move. Kid #4 launched into a real life fit when after 3 seconds nobody moved. I am talking about yelling, crying, screaming about fairness, mean faces, and a lot of “no!”. I chose to just make #4 sit in the empty seat because of the fit and told #3 to be kind and move next time. #4 was very unhappy and scrambled in and pouted all of the way to brunch.
Once we got to brunch we had to wait about 5 minutes for the large table that we like, in the back, to be cleaned. Once it was cleaned we went to sit down but the seat had some liquid on it so we had to do a little rearrange in the booth until the waitress came to dry the seat. Kid #4 was not in “her regular seat” and started to make a big deal about it. Mind you – we have not been to this restaurant in almost 2 years so of course she needed her “regular seat”. I tried to ignore this as I usually would when tired children act like, well, tired children.
Once the seat was clean we went to rearrange the seating but everyone was happy where they were, except for kid #4. She was talking really loud about how she needed to be where she wanted and she did not care if everyone else was happy, she was not. I tried to calmly talk to her but she just kept getting madder and madder. At this point I was done. So I calmly said, “Do not say another word about the seating arrangement. If you want to act this way then you can go and sit in the car while we eat.” And guess what – she went to the car. We thought she would be back after 5 minutes, we actually took bets as to how long she would last out in the car.
Although we could see her through the window, after we ordered (15 minutes) I went out to check on her. I told her she was welcome to come back in and share my meal (we share most of the time anyway) if she could be nice and enjoy herself with the family. She said, “No. I will stay here. I don’t want to do that.” So I told her fine, she had a right to her feelings, but that if she stayed in the car then she was not to ask for anything for the rest of the day. If she couldn’t be nice and eat with us then she couldn’t go hang with friends the rest of the day. She said fine that I was not fair and being mean. I told her that I was sorry she felt that way but that I like to take everyone into consideration. Then I went back in to eat.
So here is my question: Was I being mean or teaching a life lesson?
I understand that she was tired and it has been a busy weekend for her but is it too much to ask for a nice brunch?
*Kid #4 is the baby of the family and has been our most difficult recruit.
**Kid #4 is OFTEN given her way from grandparents, family and friends because she is so darn cute, sweet, and the youngest.
***Kid #4 has trouble seeing things from others point of view.
****It was an unusually cool morning so no need to worry about a kid in a hot car situation.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. Don’t hate because I was a day late. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Link back to this post (feel free to use the SOC Sunday graphic).
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
Fadra
July 12, 2015 10:30Mean mom? Are you kidding me? This isn’t about you being a mean mom. It’s about you having a stubborn kid (I have one too). The worst is when the consequences don’t bother them and I’m sure you really just wanted her to join you after she cooled down. You did the right thing but from what I’ve heard, 11 is only the beginning 😉
Julie Jordan Scott (@juliejordanscot)
July 5, 2015 20:25How old is she? She sounds like she knows what she wants and doesn’t mind the consequences, really. I think you were smart. I think she was smart. Being difficult isn’t a bad thing – I am always pleased underneath it all when my kids act up because they aren’t squashed like I was, scared to do anything and that has haunted me for my entire life. All that said, I wonder how old she is and how she is doing in school when she doesn’t get exactly what she wants?
PS – I hope brunch was really tasty! I love a good brunch!
kframpt
July 5, 2015 21:05She is 11. She does well in school but she definitely does it her way. She can talk teachers into letting her do a PowerPoint instead of a poster for a report. She is always “on” until she is asleep so she plays hard all day. I TOTALLY agree with you that I am pleased when she stands up for what she wants. I want strong, independent adults (when they grow up), but also children that can treat others how they would want to be treated. I am a very blunt person so I know she has learned from me. I did not say in the post but she was happy and busy the rest of the day, she takes her consequences from loses or her wins equally well. And as for brunch – it was so yummy! And she ate my leftovers at home with a smile!
Melissa
July 5, 2015 19:12You follow thru… It wasn’t harsh… You gave choices. She made her choice.
I suck at stickimg to my guns but it is super important.